It Makes The Living Lonely As Hell

Everyday someone dies, lives, gets married, gets divorced, and is born to this universe. However it's always someone not close to me. It's something I hear about every single day and night. On the other hand, I've never experienced any; not death, marriage, divorce, and living after being ill. The only thing I've been through is being born to this world, and unfortunately I can't remember that... These things make me feel like I live in a bubble, so vulnerable to being popped by the death angel, fortune, and fate.
Grandpa died few years ago, but I did not feel that miserable and devastated, because he was already in his 90's. Yesterday three of my relatives died in a car accident. I know by now they're dead, but something inside of me cannot accept the fact that they're not in this world anymore, it's just not getting into my brain... That shows how humans have limited brain capacities. I've only teared a bit, still did not get that slap straight on to my cheek... Something is wrong... My world is short of three human beings. I feel incomplete.
My back feels hot in the middle and very cold on the sides. My eyes just wander and try to solve this unlocking mystery. I can't believe it, I won't believe it, I do not need to believe it. She was really proud of her son. He just graduated from college. She just got her new job and was extremely happy about it. Three people do make a difference. Even half a person does. Death is ugly... Black... Blurry... Repulsive... and most importantly, it makes the living lonely as hell...

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