I'm Such a Burden...

I am a burden to my parents, brothers, and sisters.
No one seems to care that I haven't left my room for a whole day.
Instead, when I just came out, everyone was frustrated.
What did I do wrong? Why do they hate seeing me?
My tears are confused in whether they should fall or stay.
So, accidentally they tripped while being confused and fell like showers.
My emotions are distressed. My mind hurts. My heart is going through pain.
What do I do? I feel lifeless. I have no one.
No friends. No family. Not even strangers.
My mind feels like going blank for a year.
I feel like fainting and never waking after then.
I can wholeheartedly say that I understand when people say:
"Reality Bites."
And then again, these cruel thoughts approach me:
"Maybe if I disappeared everyone will be happy."
"Maybe if I disappeared everyone will live to their heart's content."
If I could weigh the pain I feel, I'm pretty sure it would be heavier than a mountain.
I'm such a burden...

My Love is Overflowing

Look at me.. Look at what I have become.. Because of you, I can't hold myself anymore..
I try to hold my feelings..
I try to get a grip on them..
Furthermore! I try to put them all together in my heart, and zip my heart closed so that nothing can be revealed..
But my feelings are huge.. They're blasting!!
My love is overflowing.. I can't hold it anymore.. It's coming out with no control..
It's exposing and unmasking me..
No! I do not want you to notice!! Not right now!!
I feel coy and bashful!
Do not look at me!! Do not stare into my eyes!!
I know you can read my feelings, so STOP where you are...
Do not try to unlock this mystery..
I am forever bedazzled by your radiance and beam...

Enough is already Enough...

I've just cried wells of tears! My eyes are bloody red! My heart is a noisy drum!
I'm so tired!!! Emotionally... Mentally... & in all aspects...
I need my friends... my mom... my brother...
I'm so sad I can't take it no more!!!
I dunno what to do with my sadness it's making me crazy!!!
I've been lying to myself more than enough!!! It's making me blind!!!
I wanna scream so loud that people would go deaf!!!
No one seems to care... not even mom!!!
Feels like I wanna strangle myself and rip off my heart and squeeeeeze it so hard until it won't feel anything anymore...
I think I'm going mad!!! This is beyond my energy... I can't control it no more...
I wanna get lost in a rain-forest... or a jungle... and live happily there with Tarzan... or Mowkley...
I need to go back to nature and abandon this material world...
Even daily chores are getting harder...
I'm so burdened...
and sad...
& lonely...