What A Painful Sound To Witness...

Why is it that you keep haunting me?
Everywhere and Anywhere I go...
You're always there...
In my dreams, and my screams...
Can't you give it a rest?!
I don't want to see you..
I don't want to miss you..
I don't want someone like you..
However..
As much as I do not want you, I want you so bad...
I cannot imagine a life without you..
Cannot imagine breathing without you..
You are troublesome to my heart...
You bother me a lot.. But you're not an eyesore..
You are something I cannot describe no matter how much I try..
Haven't seen you for two weeks..
It seems like two years..
I keep thinking about you...
In the morning and at night...
I do not want to see you, because I will remember the pain...
That hideous pain you caused to my vulnerable little heart...
I do not want to remember that...
If you listened to my heart beat...
You would hear a strange story..
About a little girl who missed her mother so bad...
But didn't wanna see her at the same time..
You would listen to the sounds of my heart aching..
and aching.. and aching..
What a painful sound to witness...

I Love You, Big Brother

I see you in your own social life...
I feel so jealous of all the people in your life...
I want to be one that you would share time with...
I wish if you'd call me every once in a while...
I wish if you'd invite me for dinner.. or even brunch...
I want to see you... I miss you...
When I see pictures of you, I always think,
"Brother is getting even more handsome with time."
"Brother looks so happy without me in these pictures."
"Brother does not need me. He has other girls to hang out with."
I really want to share a part of you...
I don't want you to only be my brother, I want you to let me be your adorable little sister...
I want you to encourage me to do the things that I do...
I want you to ask about me... Know if I'm alive or not...
I can't believe you have sold me for those strangers you prefer over me...
Just like that... And you won't even let me buy you...
How can I buy you when you have sold me?
Sometimes I cannot sleep... Y'know brother.. I keep thinking about you...
Will you always be that cold towards me?
I mean... There's only 1 year difference between us...
Aren't we supposed to be the closest siblings ever?
I need you.. & I want you...
I love you, Big Brother...