You have broken me several times... You have squeezed happiness out of my heart... You have cast a spell on my brain; making it think negatively... You have widened my thoughts of despair... I have fought myself, all because of you... I have started war with my eyes... I have sworn I won't stop my tears from falling after losing that war... I have lost hope in my friends, and made them lose me... I started living for the shadow of life... You had a great influence on me... You controlled my being... My doing... My thinking...
I have lost to you... Yes, you won... I have also vowed after losing to you that I would let this world suck out my feelings and emotions... I've been yearning for apathy and indifference... I lost my dreams... I don't want to bear children in my womb... I don't want to be attached to a man... I don't want to have the job I always dreamed of... I don't want to own the things I dreamed about... I have lost the taste of life... Life has turned frivolous and tasteless...
Should I thank you, or should I curse you??? You have been so inconsiderable to me... You have been so selfish... You have been greedy and avid... You're felonious, sinistrous, unholy, and wicked... You ruined me... You have put me through tornadoes and hurricanes... You've made me a puppet in a puppet show... You destroyed me, myself, and I...
Finally, I have no desire in life, and I have no wish except for one... And that wish is my only desire in life... I wish you'd go through all the things I've been through, taste every bitter taste I've tried, and shed every tear I've dropped from all the anguish and torment in your heart... And Good Luck in that...
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3 thoughts:
That was so touching. Lovely words I loved it <3
I want to give you the biggest hug ever!
Truly well-written and full of raw emotions. I've been to the dark side, is all I can say. I promise you, what goes around, comes around. Those who play get played so bad, they're left crippled; desire-less.
So, dear sister...do not worry...his time WILL come. And I don't mean death; however, death would be more dear to him than getting played.
Dry those tears, and force a smile upon your face..and NEVER let a man know of his victory. NEVER. Defy gravity if you have to, but always hold you your head up high, even if you're eroding on the inside. Nothing is more satisfying to a player than his 'opponent's' defeat <- remember that..
Why should you close the door to your dreams and aspirations for the one who shoved you outta his life, and closed the door on your face? IS HE WORTH IT??? Why shouldn't YOU be happy with another man; have kids, and live a life of happiness and contentment...while he keeps wandering out there from one door to another?
Imagine the shocked expression on his face, if he were to see you laughing happily with another man, both of you CLEARLY in love with one another...<- you owe THIS MUCH to yourself, for putting yourself through endless torture - shedding tears over someone who wouldn't give a damn if they were of blood.
I know how it feels - I turned psychotic for nearly 4 years after he shoved me outta his life. And, he got what he deserved - I didn't HAVE to take any revenge. =)
Here's to wishing you meet a guy who loves you way more than you love him, someone to whom YOU mean the world and more...
Oh, and I just wanted to thank you for being one of my blog's followers; thanks, babe..means a LOT to me *hug* <3
I'm sorry I've not been coming around, but now I'm going to make sure I do. I wanna see some happy posts around here, girlie - don't depend on others for your happiness; be the source of your own happiness!
Take care, sweets =)
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